Genesis 32:22-31
22 The same night he got up and took his two wives, his two maids, and his eleven children, and crossed the ford of the Jabbok.
23 He took them and sent them across the stream, and likewise everything that he had.
24 Jacob was left alone; and a man wrestled with him until daybreak.
25 When the man saw that he did not prevail against Jacob, he struck him on the hip socket; and Jacob’s hip was put out of joint as he wrestled with him.
26 Then he said, “Let me go, for the day is breaking.” But Jacob said, “I will not let you go, unless you bless me.”
27 So he said to him, “What is your name?” And he said, “Jacob.”
28 Then the man said, “You shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel, for you have striven with God and with humans, and have prevailed.”
29 Then Jacob asked him, “Please tell me your name.” But he said, “Why is it that you ask my name?” And there he blessed him.
30 So Jacob called the place Peniel, saying, “For I have seen God face to face, and yet my life is preserved.”
31 The sun rose upon him as he passed Penuel, limping because of his hip.
October 17, 2010
Murray Speer, minister of grace and preacher of the word,
to my friends in the Claresholm-Stavely Pastoral Charge.
Dear friends,
Grace to you and peace in the Lord Jesus Christ. I am writing this sermon to you in the form of a letter because I fear I will not be able to be with you this Sunday morning. I am very ill with a sinus infection and to be with you would drain me terribly. So I am asking you to share this letter together.
The reading you have just heard, from Genesis 32, has long been a favourite of mine. I can identify with Jacob, alone in the night, waiting for the dawn when he knows he must cross the river and face whatever it is that awaits him on the other side.
Perhaps I should tell you a little about what brought Jacob to this place. Jacob, the son of Isaac and Rebekah, was born only moments after his twin brother Esau. The story is that Jacob left the womb grabbing on to Esau’s ankle – so they named him Jacob, “the grabber”. We might call him “the swindler” or “the backstabber”. And that’s who he became. When he was a young man, Jacob tricked his brother Esau into signing over his inheritance. And later, he tricked his father Isaac into naming him, Jacob, his heir,over the head of his older brother.
That trick meant that Jacob had to run away. He went to work for his mother’s relative Laban, in another land. As an employee, he married both of Laban’s daughters –Rachel and Leah. Then, after a long twenty years of work, he took Laban’s daughters,all the wealth that he had acquired at Laban’s expense, and his gold statues, and made off with them. God had told him to return to his home and face the music – but at this point, Jacob was still swindling and smooth-talking his way out of every situation.
He knows that he has to return to Esau and make amends. He takes all of the extra wealth that he has accumulated and sends it off to Esau as a gift – essentially saying,I am not coming to compete with you politically or economically. I will give you the upper hand and be satisfied. But will his brother accept the offering? Tomorrow, he will find out, but he is not ready to cross the river yet. He sends everyone ahead of him– his two wives, his two mistresses, and his eleven children, and all of his employees and friends, as well as his flocks and herds and all of his goods. But he cannot bring himself to cross the river with them. Not until morning. For he knows, that no amount of smooth-talking will help him against Esau.
My friends, have you ever had a night like this? Completely alone, in the dark, unable to sleep, distraught by your own feelings, with nothing to do but wait for morning? In psychological terms, it is called “angst”, a word related to “anguish” and “anxiety”. In the language of Christian spirituality, it is called “the Dark Night of the Soul”.
During Jacob’s Dark Night, something very strange happens. He is suddenly aware of another presence. We might imagine him jumping to his feet, looking all around.“Who’s there?! Show yourself!” he might shout. And out of nowhere, he is gripped by an overwhelming power. He finds himself struggling, physically, his entire self engaged in a life-and-death wrestling match. And something very important hangs in the balance– who will he be?
You see, throughout his life, Jacob was a swindler. He could always talk his way out of anything. The one time he couldn’t, he ran. Surely he’s tempted to run again. Surely one reason he sent his entire household across the river was because some small part of him thought he might leave them and run away. By the time morning comes, he will have to decide what kind of person he will be.
His struggle lasts through the night. He is gripped so tightly that he cannot run, and there is no chance to lie, cheat, or smooth-talk his way out of this. His grief, shame, and fear are overwhelming. But something begins to shift. He realizes that this struggle is not about winning or losing. It’s about holding on. So he holds on.
The struggle is so intense that Jacob’s thigh is wrenched from its socket. But still he holds on. In this life-and-death struggle, he chooses life. He says, “I will not stop until you bless me.” Finally, his opponent asks him his name, and his grief, shame, and fear all come to a peak. “I am Jacob,” he says. “I am the grabber. The swindler. The back-stabber.” And his opponent blesses him and says, “No. Your name is Israel. The wrestler.”
Finally, Jacob is able to face his brother. No matter what happens in the morning, he can be at peace. Finally, he has earned a blessing all on his own, rather than stealing it from someone else. Finally he is his own man. He has been to the very bottom of his own soul, and discovered a will to live and a desire to fight on. But he will always be wounded from this encounter. His leg will never be the same. And he will become the father of the Hebrew people. Through him, they, and we, will always be both wounded and blessed.
Jacob can be a role model for us, my friends. Some of us may be more like his twin brother Esau. Esau never doubted himself. Esau always knew what he wanted and went for it, straightforward. Esau, the elder twin, never lied or cheated because he neither had the brain nor the heart for it. But some of us are more like Jacob. And even if we are more like Esau, there is a little Jacob in all of us. For we, too, are the spiritual descendants of Israel.
Sometimes, we have the opportunity to cross a river like Jacob did. To return home,perhaps, or to journey to a new future. Right now, the river is in front of all of us. We could leave everything behind and run. Sometimes, we do. Sometimes the future is too much for us to handle. But when we are ready, we have Jacob’s experience to guide us. First, we empty ourselves of all we have brought with us. Then, we allow ourselves to feel all of our fear, and shame, and grief. And when we reach the bottom of our souls, we cling to life and demand a blessing. It isn’t easy, and we will probably limp fora good long while.
But we will have a new name. And we will be able to freely enter the promised land of the future. And this will be our song:
“I am not who I wish to be. I am not who God would have me be. But, by the grace of God, I am not who I used to be.”
Thanks be to God.
My friends, please greet one another in peace for me after your worship is finished, and know that I hold all of you in my prayers this morning. I look forward to seeing you all again.
Blessings and love,
Murray Speer.
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